Recovery, Depression, Family, Church, Jesus

 

RECOVERY, DEPRESSION, CHURCH AND JESUS

dialog with author Merica Saint John on Amazon memoirs:

Merica Saint John says:

Paul Lennon,
Thanks for your post. I've heard and read some about Father Maciel and the Legion of Christ. What I read told about some of the trauma suffered by those who were in it. My depression very likely began in childhood due to a very strong pull to paganism in my family. Being farm people (and I only knew farm people then), family and neighbors lived in a closed cookie-cutter society where everyone looked alike and acted alike, or so it seemed to me as a child. While I yearned for a spiritual life connected to God, my parents were believers in Nature as theirs. This dichotomy caused me great confusion and sadness, as nothing was spelled out. We went to church on Sundays (Protestant country church) but I heard very little about Jesus and nothing about the Gospel. It wasn't until recently, after much research, that I discovered my parents' true belief system. It came as quite a shock to me. So, I suppose my depression was both endemic and environmental as a result of both my milieu and my circumstances. As a young adult I also re-enacted some ritualistic abuse done to me at an early age. Of course, I had no idea it had even happened, because my parents said it was all a dream if I brought it up. Invalidation of my perceptions in those first crucial five years of life led to a lifetime of questioning my perceptions and trying to sort out what was real and what was not. Today, I have a cohesive life story, but it's taken sixty years and more to form it. Thanks for writing. I commend you for writing your story. Memoirs like ours are a painful undertaking, but I've read many that have helped me get where I am: a woman beyond surviving, one who is more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus who loves me. I pray for the same for you.

My Battle with Depression in the Legion of Christ

 

Paul Lennon says in his conversations with author of Dying to Live, 

Merica Saint John,

i read your post with interest; it is coming from a Christian perspective and features depression etc. I find that interesting. In my bio Our Father Maciel who art in bed I decribe being depressed or in 'spiritual crisis' as a result of being in a very oppressive Catholic Order, the Legion of Christ -presently under Vatican supervision. As a recovered former Legionary and now licenced professional counselor and based on my personal experience I wonder whether your depression was "endemic" or "environmental", as a result of your milieu or circumstances. I hear you questioning professionals for "over-diagnosing" you and believe there can be much truth in that. I continued to struggle with my depression through ordination as a priest and even into missionary work in Quintana Roo, Mexico. After 23 years with the order I began my clinical recovery with a former Jesuit counselor! It seems that you were able to "keep the faith" despite it all. I consider the struggle with "Divine Providence" an ongoing theme in both our lives. I wish you every success with your books. Something is telling me my story is even less "pie in the sky" than yours. Despite my shocking title, however, my bio does not focus principally on clergy sex abuse though it includes some experiences and discussion. Good luck!

Courageous Woman Overcomes Serious Mental Illness and Discovers Jesus

 (Image from Amazon)

 On the Amazon memoir discussion page I "befriended" a lovely mature woman who tells her story of growing up in a very oppressive and God-less home and environment and lapsing into major mental illness and being institutionalized. Somehow she made it though all of that and is now stable and joyful

Merica Saint John is the name of this writer who can help us all on our journey of continuing recovery and mental and spiritual health

She wrote on the discussion page:
<I am just finishing my third book in a trilogy of memoir. My first book "Dying to Live" is about recovering from severe clinical depression and other mental illness issues. My second book, "Let the Seed Fall" is about moving on from there when few professionals thought I'd ever be able to live outside an institution. It tells how I went on to become a missionary in Alaska and in Africa. My third book, "Salted by Fire" is almost ready for the publisher (hopefully this week, if God is willing). They are done as a trilogy because I didn't yet know some things about my background when I wrote the first two. All are from a Christian perspective but are not pie-in-the-sky by any means. They tell of multiple traumas and adversity but also show how God was there through it all.
Let The Seed Fall: Growing from a Seed to a Tree by God's PowerDying to Live: Emerging from the Darkness of Mental Illness into the Light of a Sound Mind. Merica Saint John>